April 1st 2012
It is said that you never forget your first love and that nothing is quite so painful when ultimately that love ends, well my first was with a guy called Kevin Keegan in 1974, and for the next three years I would follow his every move, like a love struck puppy, he could do no wrong in my eyes and the eyes of many others intent on displaying such affection in the hope that such appreciation would be equally reciprocated.
I would however be unaware that this was in fact an infatuation rather than real love. Kevin would leave for Germany in the pursuit of another love and in the process break my heart. I would take that pain with me through the subsequent years; I would never forgive that man, ever.
On the 10th of August 1977 I would set out on another love affair that today would be a bromance, I would be just 9 years old, but I would also know this was indeed the real thing, since that life changing day I have never fallen out of love with you Kenneth Mathieson Dalglish. I cannot say that for other loves I have had along the way, some less deserving of such idolisation.
Even when younger prettier models would come along, yes they would catch my eye, but I would not stray, they would never fulfil my requirements as you had. I would remain faithful in my own way. I would share the pain and anguish of both Heysel and Hillsborough, the fact it was an unrequited love would not diminish its value to me.
February 1991 and particularly 11 O’clock on the 22nd day of that month would be when I realised that I along with others had taken you for granted, I had not seen the signs, the hurt in your eyes, the stress that you had suffered since 1989 and Hillsborough. Like Keegan all those years earlier you would leave me, but unlike then, you would not break my heart, instead I would be filled with guilt when I would see a man I would hardly recognise a beaten man, broken, shattered and dispirited. We would love you so much we would set you free in a hope that one day you would return to our adulation.
For the next 20 years you would however flirt with those who would seduce you and lead you on with their affection, but they would not deserve you with their unfaithful ways, their fondness would not last through fickle times. I would look on from afar hurting when those affairs would end in acrimony, my love would not fade.
Many would forget that smile that would light up a football field after gloriously turning an opponent inside out then casually stroking the ball into the top corner of the goal, magician like with both hands held high. I still see that smile today it’s embedded in my thoughts when I think of my happiest days and the truly great memories that loving you gave to me.
The reason for this letter; was in some way to show you how I feel today, how I have been forced to question whether after all these years, indeed whether the love was in fact infatuation. The truth is I don’t like some of the people you choose to hang around with, you always had a great eye for things like that, and I think some may be taking advantage of your protective nature and possibly they are undeserving, it makes me mad.
The media have tried to demonize you which has made me truly miserable and unhappy, when you are interviewed after we have lost games, which is many times this season, I find myself getting despondent even before the interview, in a sense I know what is coming, these people have found your buttons and just keep pushing them. Your response at times has made me sad, but I suppose that’s what comes with loving someone like you.
I keep getting in to virtual fights with my imaginary friends when they call you names, some I have even stopped being friends with, they don’t understand what you mean to me, they don’t know you like I do. Maybe you are not the only person hanging around with the wrong sorts.
When you left me the first time, I was sad, but understood, and I knew it would be best for you and your family. I fear that people may make you again think about leaving, walking away, please don’t. I have tried to look at this situation with an open mind, but find this incredibly difficult, I try to negate the hate and disillusioned vitriol from those that don’t quite have the understanding of real love, and more importantly what loving Kenny Dalglish really means.
Sorry I have written this letter as I know you don’t like this type of lovey dovey stuff or to get emotional, but I had to let you know how I feel, I kind of know what you will say “everything will be alright” and of course I believe you, and will continue to support you through good and bad times, I just want you to consider my feelings once in a while, and maybe let some of your new friends aware about how I feel, that would be good also.
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