IF WE ARE to believe the latest round of Liverpool Football Club related news or hearsay of Chinese whispers, the club is to experience a mass exodus of players and possibly include in that some none playing staff, at the conclusion of this current season.
So in preparation I would arm myself with a one man tent (second-hand from the Occupy London campaign). I would wash down a beach footstool which had not seen the light of day for the lack of summers since 2008, and of course a flask and multi-coloured blanket, being one never to trust the British weather. Add to this a pocket full of Dollars and some much-needed YouTube footage I would then camp myself just outside the Shankly gates in anticipation for the alleged Sale Of The Century.
Hopeful that the early bird would indeed get my bargain of a worm, bargains galore having been promised via an advert from The Daily Mail and subsequently peddled as fact across the internet. I would plonk my bottom and camping attire firmly at the head of a soon to be extremely large formed queue.
I have seen such an exodus before when Xabi Alonso and Havier Mascherano would evacuate Anfield for migration to Spain, and would soon be followed by Fernando Torres who would depart the shores of the Mersey for a yet to be realised glint of gold.
The choice of that word exodus being linked with this impending sale can most surely be questioned in as much as the three musketeers above – all having chosen to put themselves in the Anfield sale window, a true exodus. The forthcoming sale however will surely not be of a choosing from those individuals being traded, we need to replace the word with Clear-Out.
I am under no illusions that to find any true bargains I will have to rummage through the odd box of junk, which will clearly be marked up with portrayal of none truths and sales spiel that many a football manager will have fallen for in the past. Having been fooled finding themselves with a product that clearly trading standards would have a field day with, but these chaps don’t come with a 28 day refund policy, unfortunately.
So on to the bargains I have my eyes on.
FABIO AURELIO This is one item that I am actually expecting to pay no money for – yes a free sale item, mainly due to the fact that it has been returned faulty on numerous occasions. I am just hoping that if I take him, he does not end up being a waste and after a couple of weeks ends up under the bed with that exercise stepper I purchased from Argos last Christmas.
MAXI RODRIGUEZ The type of product that looks fantastic aesthetically pleasing, where you end up convinced that it can find a place within your home, only for it to disappoint with its irregular contribution. Possibly a great bargain for some other shopper though.
DIRK KUYT This however could prove a real bargain, my hours of queuing through rain and the wind and that damn sweet silver song of the lark (Song in there somewhere!) could just be about to pay off. This item does what it says on the tin, no fancy sales rubbish needed to sell this. With 12 months left on its guarantee the price may well be the stumbling block.
ANDY CARROLL We have all been taken in with one of these so-called “Bargains” where retailers just put an incredibly ludicrous RRP price on the product, purely to make you think you are getting yourself a real bargain, where we fail to grasp that even the sale price is too high for such an item.
Was £35 Million Now Slashed To £15 million Yes just made up figures, I hate this type of product and would be asking why has it been reduced so much, or if in fact it was ever worth £35 Million in the first place, I won’t be purchasing this one, reminds me of one of those Jack Russell dogs that no matter how much you do for it and look after him, he will soon turn on you barking and biting.
So once again and typically I have been unable to find such a bargain, all hype and no substance, I feel deceived and bamboozled by such talk of exodus from those headline makers, not with any intent on supplying us with actual sporting news, a depiction of falsehood wrapped in fancy headlines that are much closer to a lie than any sincerity.
They suggest exodus but name three players, so in effect there must be an exodus at every football club in the country supposedly, a choice of words to once again be disparaging toward Dalglish and his club, which has been the theme for many a journalist this season. I do however believe that Kenny Dalglish and Liverpool seem to be giving individuals the bullets, who then load their guns, take aim, and FIRE.
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